Guys and Dolls: The Dating Different Standards of Men and Women
This is the first installation of Guys and Dolls, which will consist of blog posts about the differences in dating tactics that men and women utilize. Today's subject is what I like to call, "the call back." This is something I have blogged about in a previous post (see "Waiting For The First Call.....Or Text), but I have a new experience to share.
I recently met a guy while I was out at the bar (don't judge me.) Later that night he and I were having a conversation through text-he seemed real eager to hang out and told me to let him know when a good time would be. Now by doing this, he put the ball in my court-something I have never really had to deal with until now.
Call me a Victorian if you want, but I was raised to believe that it is the guy's job to make the effort of getting a woman's phone number, calling that woman and subsequently pursuing that woman if he was interested. Now of course, in this modern day and age, the traditional roles of men and women have become practically null and void, and even in some cases, interchangeable-women can be dominate or submissive, men can be vulnerable or strong.
I haven't had much experience with pursuing men who didn't express interest in my first. But that isn't just due to the way I was raised. I'm a pretty outgoing person and I have no problem speaking my mind on certain issues. But when it comes to expressing interest in a man first, I am horribly shy. In all honesty, I am terrified of rejection (hey, those sixth grade wounds still sting, okay?)
Even if a guy has shown interest in me, when it's time for me to step up to the plate, I become afraid that he'll change his mind or something. Hey, I've given my phone number to a guy who seemed very interested in getting to know me(he talked to me for a half an hour when we met), then turned around and gave my number to his friend who preceded to hit me up for a booty call on Christmas Eve-remember that horror story? So you could understand why I have to be cautious.
I have realized that at this point in my dating life, I really have nothing to lose. I've been around the gauntlet and back and I've come full circle so to speak. I'm not as afraid of rejection as I once was, but also my timing never seems to be right. Hell, the last time I called a guy, he had practically broken his hip while rollerblading moments before answering his phone and was being carried to the hospital (true story).
So when am I supposed to call this guy? Am I supposed to ask him out or do I wait for him to ask me? If I do ask him out and we go on a date, who is supposed to pay? Will he even answer his phone when I call?
These are all questions I'm curious to know the answers to. I guess I need to get with the times and become a more modern dating thinker. These dating differences between men and women are what make our dating experiences either total miracles or complete disasters. If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to comment. Until next time....
Happy dating all!
I recently met a guy while I was out at the bar (don't judge me.) Later that night he and I were having a conversation through text-he seemed real eager to hang out and told me to let him know when a good time would be. Now by doing this, he put the ball in my court-something I have never really had to deal with until now.
Call me a Victorian if you want, but I was raised to believe that it is the guy's job to make the effort of getting a woman's phone number, calling that woman and subsequently pursuing that woman if he was interested. Now of course, in this modern day and age, the traditional roles of men and women have become practically null and void, and even in some cases, interchangeable-women can be dominate or submissive, men can be vulnerable or strong.
I haven't had much experience with pursuing men who didn't express interest in my first. But that isn't just due to the way I was raised. I'm a pretty outgoing person and I have no problem speaking my mind on certain issues. But when it comes to expressing interest in a man first, I am horribly shy. In all honesty, I am terrified of rejection (hey, those sixth grade wounds still sting, okay?)
Even if a guy has shown interest in me, when it's time for me to step up to the plate, I become afraid that he'll change his mind or something. Hey, I've given my phone number to a guy who seemed very interested in getting to know me(he talked to me for a half an hour when we met), then turned around and gave my number to his friend who preceded to hit me up for a booty call on Christmas Eve-remember that horror story? So you could understand why I have to be cautious.
I have realized that at this point in my dating life, I really have nothing to lose. I've been around the gauntlet and back and I've come full circle so to speak. I'm not as afraid of rejection as I once was, but also my timing never seems to be right. Hell, the last time I called a guy, he had practically broken his hip while rollerblading moments before answering his phone and was being carried to the hospital (true story).
So when am I supposed to call this guy? Am I supposed to ask him out or do I wait for him to ask me? If I do ask him out and we go on a date, who is supposed to pay? Will he even answer his phone when I call?
These are all questions I'm curious to know the answers to. I guess I need to get with the times and become a more modern dating thinker. These dating differences between men and women are what make our dating experiences either total miracles or complete disasters. If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to comment. Until next time....
Happy dating all!
1 comments:
feel free to ask him out on something small. maybe for appetizers. hopefully he will be interested and then ask you on a dinner date. hopefully he pays. he should be a gentleman; picking you up, opening doors, paying for meals. if he asks that you split or pay, he's obviously not worth your time...
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