I Was in Vancouver
In dating, we twenty somethings always hope for the best. This hope is often put to the test when it seems that the person you have been eyeing has lost interest in getting to know you any further then they already have. Sometimes you go so far as to make excuses for why they haven't been putting in the proper calls (i.e., "Maybe he lost my number," or "Maybe she's just busy with work," etc), instead of facing the harsh reality that maybe they just weren't interested in pursuing anything with you. And yet sometimes, out of the blue, you will hear from these people again. I'm here to tell you, when that happens, tell them to sod on (or to put it bluntly, "I'M not interested in YOU").
Of course I have a pleasant little experience to share with you all. I was recently seeing a guy named Derek (I don't usually use real names, but his douche baggery was so exceptional, I just couldn't help myself). He seemed cool initially; as I got to know him further there was some questionable behavior that popped up (like carrying a gun with him everywhere he goes though he is in no way employed by the police, or expecting 5 star food from Shari's, just to name a few.) We talked and saw each other for a couple of weeks. Despite my qualms, he still was fun to hang out with and I wanted to give him a valid chance. Then suddenly.....silence. I text him happy Fourth of July. Nothing. I asked him what he was up to one night with the intention of asking him to dinner, my treat. Nothing. After that I figured, nothing ventured nothing gained. I hadn't really gotten to know him that well and some of the traits I saw over those couple weeks had quite frankly become deal breakers.
Then this morning while I was at work, the clock creeping towards 3 A.M., I got a text from Derek saying that he just wanted to say what's up. I texted him back that I figured since I had texted him and gotten no answer, he didn't want to talk to me anymore (Warning: Douchebaggery alert). He text me to "Quit talking crazy" and then used an excuse I have never heard before..."I was in Vancouver, I just didn't have an international plan." Now, I would like to point out that it had been over two weeks since we last spoke, and nearing two weeks since my last text message to him. And he does not work a job that requires him to travel. Vancouver my ass.
The moral to this story you ask? This situation though not a very big deal made me realize that I have hit a milestone: I have finally gotten to the point where I know that I don't have to settle for that crap. Part of me wanted to give him another chance, that hopeful part of me that I sometimes want to beat over the head with a bat of course. But I realized that this guy is a jerk, and I don't have to settle for a jerk. And neither do you.
Who knows why these sudden appearances by loves lost happen. My guess is that Derek was also seeing some other women and one or two peaked his interest a little more then yours truly; at some point things probably didn't work out with them and he decided to saunter back my way for a little ego stroking. You would be surprised how often that happens. I have been on both sides of that table. But I'm here to tell you right now that if you are experiencing the deafening silence of your cell phone for longer then 4 days, leave the person on that island of lost relationship possibilities.
A person that is interested in you is going to call you or text you. They're going to want to talk to you, get to know you, hang out with you. So often we forget this in the face of rejection. I ask you daters to ask yourselves "Am I giving this person the benefit of the doubt? Or am I settling?"
Don't ever settle. Happy dating all!
Of course I have a pleasant little experience to share with you all. I was recently seeing a guy named Derek (I don't usually use real names, but his douche baggery was so exceptional, I just couldn't help myself). He seemed cool initially; as I got to know him further there was some questionable behavior that popped up (like carrying a gun with him everywhere he goes though he is in no way employed by the police, or expecting 5 star food from Shari's, just to name a few.) We talked and saw each other for a couple of weeks. Despite my qualms, he still was fun to hang out with and I wanted to give him a valid chance. Then suddenly.....silence. I text him happy Fourth of July. Nothing. I asked him what he was up to one night with the intention of asking him to dinner, my treat. Nothing. After that I figured, nothing ventured nothing gained. I hadn't really gotten to know him that well and some of the traits I saw over those couple weeks had quite frankly become deal breakers.
Then this morning while I was at work, the clock creeping towards 3 A.M., I got a text from Derek saying that he just wanted to say what's up. I texted him back that I figured since I had texted him and gotten no answer, he didn't want to talk to me anymore (Warning: Douchebaggery alert). He text me to "Quit talking crazy" and then used an excuse I have never heard before..."I was in Vancouver, I just didn't have an international plan." Now, I would like to point out that it had been over two weeks since we last spoke, and nearing two weeks since my last text message to him. And he does not work a job that requires him to travel. Vancouver my ass.
The moral to this story you ask? This situation though not a very big deal made me realize that I have hit a milestone: I have finally gotten to the point where I know that I don't have to settle for that crap. Part of me wanted to give him another chance, that hopeful part of me that I sometimes want to beat over the head with a bat of course. But I realized that this guy is a jerk, and I don't have to settle for a jerk. And neither do you.
Who knows why these sudden appearances by loves lost happen. My guess is that Derek was also seeing some other women and one or two peaked his interest a little more then yours truly; at some point things probably didn't work out with them and he decided to saunter back my way for a little ego stroking. You would be surprised how often that happens. I have been on both sides of that table. But I'm here to tell you right now that if you are experiencing the deafening silence of your cell phone for longer then 4 days, leave the person on that island of lost relationship possibilities.
A person that is interested in you is going to call you or text you. They're going to want to talk to you, get to know you, hang out with you. So often we forget this in the face of rejection. I ask you daters to ask yourselves "Am I giving this person the benefit of the doubt? Or am I settling?"
Don't ever settle. Happy dating all!
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