The Break Up Season
A disturbing turn of events this week has made me come to a conclusion-Spring time is break up time.
I used to think that Spring was the season of budding love...two people becoming acquainted with one another just as the sun is beginning to shine and flowers are blooming. Most of my relationships have had there beginnings in the spring. It's a great time to find someone because it's the season where everyone is coming out from underneath their Winter rocks and rejoining humanity again.
Unfortunately, this is not such a great time for couples who are already in full fledged relationships. For some, Spring is when some better halves get a little antsy and start itching to be free. It's the preamble to the coming Summer madness. I think in general, it's just a time when relationship problems become glaringly evident.
This week was a tough one for me. I witnessed two of my dearest female friends suffering through marital problems with their husbands. I will not disclose exactly what their problems were, all I can say is that one of the girl's is currently holed up at her parent's house separated from her husband, and the other one is debating calling off an upcoming wedding ceremony (the two are legally married, they just have yet to have the wedding.)
And then there's me. This week, I broke up with my ex, again. We had such a good time together and I really felt like I was falling in love with him. Unfortunately, he did not understand that when in a long distance situation, you have to put in more effort than if you lived in the same city. Our communication was strained which resulted in me not being able to trust him. After things didn't change, I decided to end it.
Seeing what my friends were going through and then evaluating my own situation, I had a bit of a breakdown. I felt horrible for my friends. I just sat in my room and cried as I thought about what they must be going through. I mean, I'm just a single gal going through a break up; they are legally and spiritually bound to their spouses and in one of the cases, a child is involved.
Still though, I found my own situation pretty depressing. I'm suffering through the break up blues at the moment but I know I did the right thing. I learned that I will not settle for anything less than what I want-a committed, monogamous relationship. One that involves the right amount of communication and one where a strong foundation of trust has been built. I'm sure I will expand on this in a future post.
For now though, I just want to help my friends get through these difficult times. I know I'll be fine, I've been here enough so I know the coping strategies like the back of my hand. But my girls may have a long road ahead of them.
I used to think that Spring was the season of budding love...two people becoming acquainted with one another just as the sun is beginning to shine and flowers are blooming. Most of my relationships have had there beginnings in the spring. It's a great time to find someone because it's the season where everyone is coming out from underneath their Winter rocks and rejoining humanity again.
Unfortunately, this is not such a great time for couples who are already in full fledged relationships. For some, Spring is when some better halves get a little antsy and start itching to be free. It's the preamble to the coming Summer madness. I think in general, it's just a time when relationship problems become glaringly evident.
This week was a tough one for me. I witnessed two of my dearest female friends suffering through marital problems with their husbands. I will not disclose exactly what their problems were, all I can say is that one of the girl's is currently holed up at her parent's house separated from her husband, and the other one is debating calling off an upcoming wedding ceremony (the two are legally married, they just have yet to have the wedding.)
And then there's me. This week, I broke up with my ex, again. We had such a good time together and I really felt like I was falling in love with him. Unfortunately, he did not understand that when in a long distance situation, you have to put in more effort than if you lived in the same city. Our communication was strained which resulted in me not being able to trust him. After things didn't change, I decided to end it.
Seeing what my friends were going through and then evaluating my own situation, I had a bit of a breakdown. I felt horrible for my friends. I just sat in my room and cried as I thought about what they must be going through. I mean, I'm just a single gal going through a break up; they are legally and spiritually bound to their spouses and in one of the cases, a child is involved.
Still though, I found my own situation pretty depressing. I'm suffering through the break up blues at the moment but I know I did the right thing. I learned that I will not settle for anything less than what I want-a committed, monogamous relationship. One that involves the right amount of communication and one where a strong foundation of trust has been built. I'm sure I will expand on this in a future post.
For now though, I just want to help my friends get through these difficult times. I know I'll be fine, I've been here enough so I know the coping strategies like the back of my hand. But my girls may have a long road ahead of them.
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