Beauty Is Only Skin Deep....Right?
So I have committed the cardinal sin in the blogging world: I left my blog idle while I was living life. For shame, forgive me. I'll try not to do that again.
It's been a month of interesting and unexpected changes. My ex and I had another round and I even brought him home to meet the family before we finally parted ways for good. I had to face some harsh realities after our last bout; the fact is, I am guilty of the same crime that a lot of women are guilty of-I have a tendency to date the same person over and over again.
Obviously I am talking more figuratively then literally, but all the same, I do it. Now I try not to write blogs that are specifically targeted towards one sex, but I find I must do it in this case.
I think a lot of women, once they have been through relationship after relationship after relationship, try to figure out where they are going wrong. Women are the denial queens; they deny they pick the wrong men, ignore red flags and even when they know that a problem exists, they refuse to do anything to change it, hoping maybe a change will just happen naturally.
I have made a practice of this myself. I have also found that I choose men probably the same way that men choose women-judging how physically attractive I find them. Now physical attraction is a natural characteristic that everyone looks for in a mate. But I have gotten to the point that if I don't find a man physically attractive, I can't date him. That dog just won't hunt.
Part of this probably comes from the fact that I have been spoiled. I have dated some pretty good looking men in my time. But I am also attracted to good looking men with a sense of accomplishment. I've dated pro athletes, musicians, advertising executives, military men. All good looking and all with a strong sense of ambition.
But the thing they have in common is how the relationships end. And it boils down to one simple fact: I'm picking the wrong men.
Of course this realization leads me to other questions, but the one that continues to boggle my mind is "If your attracted to a certain kind of person, but you can't seem to have a successful relationship with that type, how do you change what your attracted to?" It's a question that I'm having a hell of a time answering.
Now I'm not here to brag about all of the attractive men that I have dated, though I have to admit I've been very lucky. The fact is, I would trade in every attractive guy that I have ever known for a fulfilling relationship, whether it was with an accomplished man or Joe Schmo. I've just been trying to figure out, if what your attracted to doesn't work, how do you change what naturally gets you going?
I'm on a quest to find answers to this questions because I want to know if you can change it and how to go about that. One thing I attempted to do recently was date some men that I found less attractive-I thought that was the natural progression in changing but before my ass could even sit down at a restaurant for a first date, I was out of there.
I know I sound like a superficial, pretentious boob right now. I definitely feel like one even admitting something like this. But that is the first step to overcoming denial...admitting you have a problem.
It's been a month of interesting and unexpected changes. My ex and I had another round and I even brought him home to meet the family before we finally parted ways for good. I had to face some harsh realities after our last bout; the fact is, I am guilty of the same crime that a lot of women are guilty of-I have a tendency to date the same person over and over again.
Obviously I am talking more figuratively then literally, but all the same, I do it. Now I try not to write blogs that are specifically targeted towards one sex, but I find I must do it in this case.
I think a lot of women, once they have been through relationship after relationship after relationship, try to figure out where they are going wrong. Women are the denial queens; they deny they pick the wrong men, ignore red flags and even when they know that a problem exists, they refuse to do anything to change it, hoping maybe a change will just happen naturally.
I have made a practice of this myself. I have also found that I choose men probably the same way that men choose women-judging how physically attractive I find them. Now physical attraction is a natural characteristic that everyone looks for in a mate. But I have gotten to the point that if I don't find a man physically attractive, I can't date him. That dog just won't hunt.
Part of this probably comes from the fact that I have been spoiled. I have dated some pretty good looking men in my time. But I am also attracted to good looking men with a sense of accomplishment. I've dated pro athletes, musicians, advertising executives, military men. All good looking and all with a strong sense of ambition.
But the thing they have in common is how the relationships end. And it boils down to one simple fact: I'm picking the wrong men.
Of course this realization leads me to other questions, but the one that continues to boggle my mind is "If your attracted to a certain kind of person, but you can't seem to have a successful relationship with that type, how do you change what your attracted to?" It's a question that I'm having a hell of a time answering.
Now I'm not here to brag about all of the attractive men that I have dated, though I have to admit I've been very lucky. The fact is, I would trade in every attractive guy that I have ever known for a fulfilling relationship, whether it was with an accomplished man or Joe Schmo. I've just been trying to figure out, if what your attracted to doesn't work, how do you change what naturally gets you going?
I'm on a quest to find answers to this questions because I want to know if you can change it and how to go about that. One thing I attempted to do recently was date some men that I found less attractive-I thought that was the natural progression in changing but before my ass could even sit down at a restaurant for a first date, I was out of there.
I know I sound like a superficial, pretentious boob right now. I definitely feel like one even admitting something like this. But that is the first step to overcoming denial...admitting you have a problem.
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