It's Sabotage!!!
I realized in my recent dating situation that I have a serious relationship problem: I over analyze situations entirely too much and end up sabotaging what could be a potential relationship. And the more I over analyze my over analyzing, the more I think that this is common problem among young daters, whether they realize it or not.
I've been continuing to see my ex and it's been going surprisingly good. It is quite possible that we are headed toward a second try at a relationship. But despite this, I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop so to speak; just waiting for disaster to strike or something bad to happen to ruin this whole situation.
Now in my fervor to over analyze, I've come to some other realizations and I know why I've continuously done this before and why it's happening now. Mostly it's because I'm terrified of getting hurt. This terror comes from my prior relationship, which also happened to be the first man I ever fell in love with.
I read an article once that said that your first love can affect your dating habits for the rest of your life. If that is true then I am completely screwed. My first and only serious relationship to speak of lasted three years and while there was some good times there was also some really bad times. One of the things my ex used to do was break up with me and then plead to get back together with me just a few days later. He did this countless times throughout our relationship and I could never say no to him because I loved him too much. Not to mention whenever we would have an argument, he would disappear for days leaving me worried and our conflict unresolved.
In addition to my minimal relationship history, my love life as a single for the last 2 and a half years has been about as successful as President Bush's eight years in office. The men I've dated have come and gone; I could have had relationships with some of them but I ended up pushing them away and shutting my emotions off. And while I've had a lot of fun being single and gotten some good laughs in the process, I know it's time for a change.
This time around with my ex feels different from most of the dating experiences I've had since I've been single. It's the first time in years that I've had a genuinely good feeling about a potential relationship. But he knows my concerns and he does know I'm worried; unfortunately I've discussed it with him at nauseum. I only hope he can be patient with me while I try to relax and let things just happen.
My fellow singles, I ask you, why do we do this to ourselves? That's the negative thing about past relationships: even when they are dead and gone, they still continue to follow you around like your own shadow. Some people can learn from their relationship ghosts and move on, while others struggle to come to terms with the things that caused them pain so they hold on to them as a form of protection. I don't want to allow my past to sabotage my present but I suppose at the very least I learned something from all of this; I didn't even think I had a problem until now. So I advise those out their grappling with their past to do their best to let go. Don't let past misery jeopardize your present and future happiness.
For the time being, I'm going to focus on taking my own advice. Good luck to you all out there. Happy dating all!
I've been continuing to see my ex and it's been going surprisingly good. It is quite possible that we are headed toward a second try at a relationship. But despite this, I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop so to speak; just waiting for disaster to strike or something bad to happen to ruin this whole situation.
Now in my fervor to over analyze, I've come to some other realizations and I know why I've continuously done this before and why it's happening now. Mostly it's because I'm terrified of getting hurt. This terror comes from my prior relationship, which also happened to be the first man I ever fell in love with.
I read an article once that said that your first love can affect your dating habits for the rest of your life. If that is true then I am completely screwed. My first and only serious relationship to speak of lasted three years and while there was some good times there was also some really bad times. One of the things my ex used to do was break up with me and then plead to get back together with me just a few days later. He did this countless times throughout our relationship and I could never say no to him because I loved him too much. Not to mention whenever we would have an argument, he would disappear for days leaving me worried and our conflict unresolved.
In addition to my minimal relationship history, my love life as a single for the last 2 and a half years has been about as successful as President Bush's eight years in office. The men I've dated have come and gone; I could have had relationships with some of them but I ended up pushing them away and shutting my emotions off. And while I've had a lot of fun being single and gotten some good laughs in the process, I know it's time for a change.
This time around with my ex feels different from most of the dating experiences I've had since I've been single. It's the first time in years that I've had a genuinely good feeling about a potential relationship. But he knows my concerns and he does know I'm worried; unfortunately I've discussed it with him at nauseum. I only hope he can be patient with me while I try to relax and let things just happen.
My fellow singles, I ask you, why do we do this to ourselves? That's the negative thing about past relationships: even when they are dead and gone, they still continue to follow you around like your own shadow. Some people can learn from their relationship ghosts and move on, while others struggle to come to terms with the things that caused them pain so they hold on to them as a form of protection. I don't want to allow my past to sabotage my present but I suppose at the very least I learned something from all of this; I didn't even think I had a problem until now. So I advise those out their grappling with their past to do their best to let go. Don't let past misery jeopardize your present and future happiness.
For the time being, I'm going to focus on taking my own advice. Good luck to you all out there. Happy dating all!
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