Your Standards Are Too High When....
Posted by
LaLa
on Wednesday, January 28, 2009
I recently read an article that talked about how the memories of your first love can interfere with all of your proceeding relationships. Specifically it stated that the power and the magic of first love can create a certain standard that all of your future relationships will have to live up to, resulting in unrealistic expectations. And thus, very high standards are born.
It's interesting how people end up with standards higher then Mount Everest. I find that usually reasons behind someones high standards fit into one of two categories: A) They were in a relationship where someone was so great to them, they expect that from every person they date or B) Their parents taught them that they deserve better than the best. I myself fall somewhere in the middle.
I've had some of those great dating experiences that set the bar pretty high for any other prospective suitors in my life. Not to mention, my parents did raise me to believe that I was, in the words of Christian Siriano from Project Runway, kind of a big deal. I am picky but I do consider myself to be pretty open minded-what can I say, I'll try anything once.
So how do you know if your raising the bar too high? Look out for these warning signs:
1. You refuse to date someone because of the tiniest physical imperfection.
Thick upper lip hair, fine. A protruding beer belly, okay I could understand that. But if your penalizing a guy for having hair in all the normal places, or a girl for having big feet, that's just picky and mean.
2. They're not enough like your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend.
This is more common then you would think. Sometimes, individuals will find themselves attracted to someone because they remind them of a great ex they were once with. Usually in these cases, the ex was the one that did the breaking up. Well I have news for those in this situation: no one is ever going to be like that amazing ex. You'll have to either try to work it out with them or move on.
3. You immediately dump someone after finding out something about them that you "kind of" don't like.
Sometimes when your dating someone, you'll run into a speed bump I like to refer to as a deal breaker. Deal breakers for some include your prospect having a child, an ex they are still extremely close to, or having a recent televised profile on America's Most Wanted. But dumping someone whose hobbies might include playing video games or someone who might have an occasional yen for sushi and yoga? At that rate, you might as well get used to commiserating with that one online chat buddy you have that seems to understand you because your gonna be alone for awhile.
I hope this helps you re-evaluate whether or not your being too hard on your dating pool. Remember to take a good look at yourself and know that you, like your prospects, are not perfect. Try to be more open minded about what's out there-you might be surprised at what you find...or not...that's the fun thing about being open minded. Happy dating all!
It's interesting how people end up with standards higher then Mount Everest. I find that usually reasons behind someones high standards fit into one of two categories: A) They were in a relationship where someone was so great to them, they expect that from every person they date or B) Their parents taught them that they deserve better than the best. I myself fall somewhere in the middle.
I've had some of those great dating experiences that set the bar pretty high for any other prospective suitors in my life. Not to mention, my parents did raise me to believe that I was, in the words of Christian Siriano from Project Runway, kind of a big deal. I am picky but I do consider myself to be pretty open minded-what can I say, I'll try anything once.
So how do you know if your raising the bar too high? Look out for these warning signs:
1. You refuse to date someone because of the tiniest physical imperfection.
Thick upper lip hair, fine. A protruding beer belly, okay I could understand that. But if your penalizing a guy for having hair in all the normal places, or a girl for having big feet, that's just picky and mean.
2. They're not enough like your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend.
This is more common then you would think. Sometimes, individuals will find themselves attracted to someone because they remind them of a great ex they were once with. Usually in these cases, the ex was the one that did the breaking up. Well I have news for those in this situation: no one is ever going to be like that amazing ex. You'll have to either try to work it out with them or move on.
3. You immediately dump someone after finding out something about them that you "kind of" don't like.
Sometimes when your dating someone, you'll run into a speed bump I like to refer to as a deal breaker. Deal breakers for some include your prospect having a child, an ex they are still extremely close to, or having a recent televised profile on America's Most Wanted. But dumping someone whose hobbies might include playing video games or someone who might have an occasional yen for sushi and yoga? At that rate, you might as well get used to commiserating with that one online chat buddy you have that seems to understand you because your gonna be alone for awhile.
I hope this helps you re-evaluate whether or not your being too hard on your dating pool. Remember to take a good look at yourself and know that you, like your prospects, are not perfect. Try to be more open minded about what's out there-you might be surprised at what you find...or not...that's the fun thing about being open minded. Happy dating all!



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