LaLa in Seattle

Long distance dating can be viewed as a nagging inconvenience-being far away from the one you love while trying to carry on in your daily life can sometimes be a difficult feat. But there are also some great benefits to having a relationship long distance and dare I say it, it can even be fun. And I ought to know.

I was in a relationship with someone for three years and a year and a half of that was spent long distance. Though we had many ups and downs in our relationship, we always made the distance work for us and it didn't affect us that much. One thing I greatly appreciated was knowing I had someone special in my life that supported me but that I could also focus on my daily priorities and get things done. I appreciated the fact that I had an equal mix of independence and relationship comfort.

Not to mention, I am contemplating entering into another long distance situation with another former boyfriend. But in my long distance relationship experience, I learned that there are certain critical factors that need to be in place to ensure a successful long distance dating situation. Here are some of the stipulations I am adhering to:

1. A strong connection to the individual is necessary.

Now this is a harsh fact, but when dating someone who is far away, there will be times you will wonder if it's worth the energy and money you will spend to maintain the relationship. So what determines whether it's worth it? In my opinion, a strong connection with someone is ultimately the deciding factor. And I'm not talking about connecting over a common interest in playing Guitar Hero; I'm talking about a mental, emotional and physical connection that is unique and apparent to both of you. Without this, it's going to be hard to justify traveling to see them on a regular basis. Make sure this is established.

2. Trust is imperative.

Any relationship without trust is a relationship doomed to fail. But with a long distance situation, trust is especially important. One of the down sides of LDD (Long Distance Dating) is that it may be easier to give into the temptation to cheat without your sweetness being any wiser, or vice versa. I'm not saying that trust completely shields either one of you from being a victim of this, but having a foundation of trust at least gives you a fighting chance as a long distance couple.

3. LDD arrangements will parish without sufficient communication.

This is definitely a challenge that I am facing in my current situation. As daters in our 20's, we have a number of obligations we have to attend to like school, work and extra curricular activities. With all of these factors constantly pulling for our attention, making communication with your far away amour a priority can get pretty complicated. But if you want your LDD situation to be successful, communication has to be important to both parties. Figure out the best time of the day for the two of you to communicate and allot that time on a daily basis, whether your having a phone conversation, texting, sexting, chatting, smoke signaling, whatever.

As long as you two have a foundation containing these three essential conditions, LDD success should be on the horizon. I'll leave you with a few more benefits of LDD:

1. Being long distance keeps the creative juices flowing in terms of making visiting each other fun. It keeps things fresh and breaks up the monotony that can be the everyday relationship.

2. In cases where a connection is strong, absence does make the heart grow fonder.

3. Done right, LDD allows you to keep your focus on important priorities like work, school and family and evenly balance that with a romantic relationship.

Designer Diane Von Furstenberg once said something along the lines of "Distance is to love what a wind is to fire. If it is a small fire, then the wind will blow it right out. But if it is a big fire, the wind only intensifies it."

Happy dating all!